i feel kinda unattached lately. friends, family, interests, classes... i dunno, the weather is getting cooler but i'm worried my mental health will get worse too. i can never tell if it's the weather or the workload that messes me up. i have an exam coming up this week that i haven't studied for, which is bad considering it's a notorious weed-out class. people keep reaching out to me so st least i get out of my room and do things. i went to my friend AJ's birthday party last night, which was fun; just a low-key thing with cake and pizza, hung out with some mutual friends for a couple hours. later this week i have more plans with some other friends to study & get coffee etc. sometime tonight i'll call my parents and catch up, see if i don't feel like dying instead of watching a movie with chris.

speaking of. chris made spam musubi today. which. hm.
i mean it was good! ish! the spam smelled really good after he fried it in whatever sweet soy sauce mixture he made. and rice is always good. but. the seaweed algae. stuff. smelled so bad. and i was fighting for my life to not show it on my face oh my god i wanted to gag a couple times but i absolutely cannot make him feel bad about it and i don't want to be a bitch because free food, and i'm expanding my cultural horizons, and he is absolutely going to make it again and he wants to make other stuff like onigiri which is also seaweed-contaminated rice. i'll live as long as i don't think about it and don't breathe while i eat (easier said than done)

i worse news, my fish is definietly sick. it makes me sad, even though i'm not super attached to him i don't want him to die. i don't know if he got too cold or if mold started growing somewhere in his filter or what, but i've tried to feed him and keep his heater running and change his water. he just won't eat and barely moves. i'm just waiting now. it sucks